3 weeks to be exact, since my girl isn't feeling well.
I'm a person, I'm a mother, I'm a wife, I'm a daughter, I'm a daughter in law. I'm just me.
My girl glued to me, it's understandable.
My husband wants some intimate moments, it's understandable.
My mom wants me to listen, it's understandable.
My in laws if wanna judge on how I take care of my girl, it's understandable.
But when I'm having an emotion breakdown, all I have got is, "be strong,"
And then I have got,"So what it's been 2 weeks, not that I'm overseas,"
And then, "We need to be beside her to help her get through this,"
You don't understand my burden.
When she started to have runny nose, I already started to be so careful of what should be eaten and what shouldn't be eaten. BUT no one listens.
Then she started to have cough and body heat and then fever come and go.
Do you think that I'm only on my phone playing games and posting my products to sell?
Every chance I have, I search for info, I asked people questions, how to cure, how to stay calm and observe, how to boost immune system, what to eat, what not to eat etc. Every single thing I let her try, my heart skipped and eagerly observe any changes at all.
Every single day, every minute, every seconds, I am worried sick over what haven't I done already?
I only asked you to buy that gauze, it took you some good 3 days!
I asked you to buy stuffs from Chinese herbs shop, I asked you to buy lemongrass and ginger. What did I get?
"No stock but tomorrow I'll go buy again when there is stock,"
"I forgot about lemongrass,"
And when I'm so stress out don't know what to do, and all I did was cried along when she cries, all I got was,"be strong,"
You said so what it's been 2 weeks, not that you're away to overseas.. what did you do? Back home, you watch TV, you played games. Yeh, you did entertain the girl but how did you entertain? Eyes still on the TV, merely,"ah, yes, ah okay, " Non stop work calls. Non stop that colleague calls talk nonsense. When there's nothing to do, what did you do? Games. FB. Work Whatsapp. What did I do? Info. Work.
When during sleep or when you wake up in the morning while I was just about to sleep, you want intimate moments. Have you ever thought how tired and stressful I am? When I rejected, you showed your frustration? And when we did have intimate moments, please stop commenting my normal daily clothes as if to seduce you. Don't make me sound so cheap. Why my pants is so loose now? I have lost weight. I haven't buy new pair of pants that is suitable to my size. Who would want to wear Levis or hot pants which, without unbotton or unzip, can easily take off from that ass? How you ever thought of this? How could you asked that stupid question,"Were you seducing me? Were you waiting for me?" That's such a turn off.
And when I have emotions breakdown,
BE STRONG that's what I got from you?
