诚

认识一个人, 真的很难吗?

人与人之间, 到底藏了多少谎言?

秘密，是否也是个谎言？

利用心理战术来了解一个人，是真的要了解吗？ 还是只为了伪装自己？

利用心理战术来让别人认识你，是真的认识吗？还是又多了一些必掩盖的谎言？

人，是个孤独的个体； 很独特； 很有自个儿的性格。

不让别人了解你，封得密密的，原来的你，藏在哪个面具下，你还记得吗？



我总是不了解，
为何当我不开心时，
就是不能在朋友面前不开心？
也不能在家里头不开心？
为何就得在大家面前，
伪装得很若无其事？

他们都说，你不开心，大家担心；
还有些的说，你不开心，就是很情绪化；
再不然就说，你不开心，不懂得收，就是很孩子气； 不成熟。

那，分享这动词，何时派用上场？
快乐的时刻吗？
那，不快乐的时候呢？
是不是只有热恋中的情侣才用得了，“让我与你分享快乐，分担悲伤”？
有点儿讽刺。

近来，
不会很不开心，也不会很开心，就是很平淡。
就是思考了不少。

人与人之间，何时是真，何时是假？

我一直以为，她说的每句话，都是真的。
我一直以为，他说的每句话，都只是猜疑。
那一天，我听到了心酸背后的真； 我听到了话以外的实；
顿时，我真的不懂该如何面对。
汹涌的浪涛，狠狠地打在我心胸。。。

离开，
一直是我向往的出路；
那话以外的实，
是否是一个心酸背后的真所能承担的背负？
这一战，
谁是参赛者？
如果，
我是其中的参赛者，那我该扮演着什么角色？

孤独，孤单
如果我拿起拉拉队的角色，
我还是孤独的个体；
如果我选择了离开，
孤单就成了他的战伴，
他的那一颗心，受得了吗？

诚，
在这人生里，
有多少人以诚为人与人的前提？

家，
存有诚吗？

友，
待以诚心吗？

真假与默的伤痕

无奈

或真或假的话
始终还是会成了别人的伤害

不是我愿意去伤害
或许是你不愿意去接受吧

真话
听不下去
所以痛苦

假话
你说我不真
所以你恨

不说不问不想不知道
静静的
默默的
闷在心里

时间久了
也就没事了

就只有这样的抱着希望
望那天没有伤痕的日子

不说
你我都闷在心里
永永远远
埋藏在心底

这样可好？

Hatyai

做了好有意义的事
谢谢那一班带我出去走走的朋友

不安

最担心的不是我忽然消失了

不安
没有那份安全
还是那份信任吧

不对了的感觉
真的感觉到了
怎么办
说不出来

不喜欢
有这样的能力

Misu Misu ~

出门前
我再找你

不然
我真的会好想你

万一我被炸掉了
那就会成了遗憾美

A look Back to The Past

*Found this while I was browsing back old times blog. Does it really exist? I hold to the words, and things just didn't turn out as written. Does it exist? Unable to step ahead no matter how eager I want to.

Dear Ern,
Sometimes in life you cannot look at the negative all the time. If you open up your eyes, you may actually see the more positive side.

Life is all about decision. The decisions that you make will detemine where you will be in the future. This is what my stepdad told me before when I was very young but I still remember this quote. However I would like to add, you will always have options. Dont worry about what decision you make now as there will always be a way out of your problem.

Trust me I know that everything will work out for you. I know that. You were a very sure and strong person. A girl with her very own personality that can stand against the strongest wind. I know you will be fine. Just remember you still have some friends who still love, care and worry for you all the time. Do take care.

I dedicate this song to you. It was sung by Mariah Carey. The name of the song is Butterfly. Read the lyrics as it is very very true.

When you love someone so deeply
They become your life
It’s easy to succumb to overwhelming fears inside
Blindly, I imagined I could
Keep you under glass
Now I understand, to hold you
I must open up my hands
And watch you rise

Spread your wings and prepare to fly
For you have become a butterfly
Oh, fly abandonedly into the sun
If you should return to me
We truly were meant to be
So spread your wings and fly
Butterfly

I have learned that beauty
Has to flourish in the light
Wild horses run unbridled
Or their spirit dies
You’ve given me the courage
To be all that I can
And I truly feel your heart will
Lead you back to me
When you’re ready to land

Spread your wings and prepare to fly
For you have become a butterfly
Fly abandonedly into the sun
If you should return to me
We truly were meant to be
So spread your wings and fly
Butterfly

I can’t pretend these tears
Aren’t overflowing steadily
I can’t prevent this hurt from
Almost overtaking me
But I will stand and say goodbye
For you’ll never be mine
Until you know the way it feels to fly

Spread your wings and prepare to fly
For you have become a butterfly
Fly abandonedly into the sun (fly to the sun)
If you should return to me (I will know you’re mine)
We truly were meant to be
So spread your wings and fly
My butterfly

Spread your wings and prepare to fly
For you have become a butterfly
Oh, fly abandonedly into the sun
If you should return to me
We truly were meant to be
So spread your wings and fly
Butterfly

So flutter through the sky
Butterfly, fly
Spread your wings and fly
Butterfly

July 29, 2006 @ 9:32 pm

Note of Heart

Every little imperfections which make you perfect to me

I ain't perfect, but I have a heart fulled of your name

I may be as naive as I can be

I may be as childish I may be

I may be as nagging as I can be

I may be as emotional as I may be

I wish

You may tolerate as far as you can be

You may love me as much as you have been

You may guide me as far as you could be

You may hear me as deep down as you shall be

but I really wish

I will see

I will appreciate

I will touched

of every little thing you've done

of every single thing which makes you, you

for it is not for me to condemn nor complaint

the person in you

I wish

we find that balance of two persons

and live as a person in the bond named love

I want

to see

to know

to appreciate you for who you are

apart from

we learn from each other

we guide each other

we support each other

and we improve each other

hand by hand

I wish not to miss any chance

to tell you

I always miss you

Allow me to know you better

and so we will walk it together

*inspired by Beautifully Imperfections

旅程

飞得远远的

像只花蝴蝶

或是小蚊子

不会飞得很高 （但可以乘电梯）

回头看看

问题很大吗

是要改变它

还是要适应它

飞着 飞着

看见漂亮的花 也看见了野草

视野当然不至于这些

丑的 脏的

假装看不见

童话

还待在那缤纷色彩的世界

永远嘻嘻哈哈完美的结局

如果的事

如果真的有

那

人生该没任何挑战的空间了吧

飘着 飞着

或许我只是尘灰

也许我是张白纸

任由风哥哥带我去旅行

这样的旅程 很潇洒

Lost

Everything can be solved when love exists.

I used to believe in that, I am still believing in that.

but my strength is so limited.

Communications?

Who is the main cause？

Every little thing done, people are taking it for granted.

One single thing you can't fulfilled, you are bad.

Where is the place I belong? Where is the love we held onto?

Don't think to much, said a friend.
Be harsh for once, advice another.
How could I? How would I?

Something no one have taught before...
What is right and what is wrong?

痛

胃痛好几天了

是逼出来的吗？
还是被逼出来的？
怎么都不好。。

真的很痛

哪个比较痛。。。

跌倒不痛
失去坚强最痛

过

刚才去SiTigun，没开。

下午兴致勃勃说：“我要去Tiramisu咯！好高兴，好想念！”

"Dear customer, SiTigun will close every Monday between March and April. Sorry for any inconvenience"

心情更低落了

兜了，哭了，我还是一个人。
好想找个人陪，好想有个依靠的肩膀，可我连在朋友面前哭泣的勇气也没了。

一个人悠悠荡荡， 开着车子，没法专心的哭。

总觉得，
做什么都是多余的。
用心，
有心，
都不可以吗？
还不足够吗？

今天，
我笑话了自己的愚笨。
更笑话了自己的天真。
也笑话了自己的纯真。

我的人生，
本是个笑话。

H.Alone

What should I say? How should I act?

It has been happened again and again.

I am asking the same question again.

What is the logic behind doing something you know it harms the harmony of life?

Seriously, am I not doing good enough?

Have you ever think for my sake? Or am I just a person who should play my role and do my responsibilities whenever you want me to?

Do you care because I am yours? Or do you really care because I am a person who needs to walk my own life? All I am seeing, you care because I am yours.

I will never forget how I begged for some mercy, and how you begged for that material, without considering how am I going to survive myself.

I never blame anyone but myself. I am not capable of changing it, after so many years I tried. I am already at the "I had enough" level, leaving seems to be my best options. Yet, I am staying, mainly because of I am still yours.

I am considering too much, I am worrying too much; why can't I take actions like both them?

Why I have to be tough like such?

People always say to me,"Wah, you are so lucky, must be loved all the time, and pampered too,"

I am pampered, because I am allowing myself to; but I am not really pampered, because they ain't really pampered me so.

I learnt to be so tough, learnt to analyze every single situations, learnt to handle every possible conflicts that will happen, learnt to shut my mouth anytime anywhere whatever I hear or listen, learnt to clear the conflicts without involving anyone but myself etc.

I am only human, I am not superwoman. I am only a girl, and I am the youngest of all. Why am I having all these on my shoulder, on my heart? Because they learnt to let go, and they left early, that's why. And because they just don't seem to think for my sake, yet I am the only person thinking for their sake.

That is why, I am allowing people to named me as "stupid" at times.

Giving In or Up?

Is a package really that matters?

"It's a real world, wake up," he said.

"It's how you look at it, a career, or just a job," said a friend.

I do not know, how far I can go in that job, but I do know, it's going to be a tough one.

I know they are concern, and they worry, and they miss me a lot; if I never fell, how would I learn how to stand? I have all this while been in the comfort zone. Can't it be that I step my foot in there, pick up anything that is possible, and then only they be prepare to help or lend a shoulder whenever I may need one? Why is it that it has to before I start off anything, I need to make sure all are secure? Life is so unpredictable, why can't I take the step and walk it as it comes along the way?

Didn't he started all from zero, again and again? I love to be loved, I don't deny it.. but what have I achieved so far? Under the blanket, I am secured and being protected so. No matter how much I wish to step ahead and go far, I will be scare and worry. And instead of being supportive or being positive, they drag me back with possible bad consequences. Why can't there be possible of good consequences? do we human beings needs only bad consequences to make the right choice? But on what circumstances, and on what right do we judge whether the things that have yet to happen, is bad or good?

Risk is everywhere you go; whatever decision you made. Be in the situation, eventually you will know how to survive yourself. There, you might find out, how strong or tough are you, and if you are capable of being challenged that way.

The desire is so strong, but my confidence is so little. All I need is their support. Why can't it be,"Go! Go for it! Never try, how would you know?!"

He was once like that, and when I finally make up my mind to go, "You don't come here unless you are getting at least 3K,"

Or am I just too naive? It's a real world? Does the figure really determine of what and how you should live your life??

I don't deny that there are reasons for me to stay back, the locations, the people, the environment, the food. I really need to learn to stand on my own. At this age, still feeling lost, and still single, man, who knows I might not get anyone to marry me?? Gosh, I seriously need to help myself to survive on my own. Going out there to a place where I have never been exposed to before, I bet, I will learn my ways to help myself.

I ain't trying to be a superwoman. Who doesn't love to be loved and pampered? Maybe I am currently trying to live on my own too. haha.

ah, crappy. Here I am, letting go another chance, of so many chances I had before, I am letting it go again..

回味

Tiramisu~

Little Italy~

Tiramisu~

Little Italy~

想念那份味道
想念那纯纯的味道
想念那津津有味的味道
想念我为它而醉的味道

真的想你了~

Together We Walk

Distance

Two souls
Two and a half hours
How far is that?

Believe
it is close to the heart
Have faith
it will remain close

Over few millions
Over the ocean
Over the land
It's just two and a half hours

Close to my heart
there you are
When everything is dark
there you are

Never need to be alone
for you are always close
close to my heart

I am only lonely
when the faith leaves
So I need you so
to be brave
to have faith
to believe
that the day will come
that the only end for us
is the eternity of happiness

And there
I hear the rhythm once more
in the garden full with beautiful butterflies
we walk each other
for as long as life can be

Aerosmith - Don't Wanna Miss A Thing

I could stay awake just to hear you breathing
Watch you smile while you are sleeping
While youre far away dreaming
I could spend my life in this sweet surrender
I could stay lost in this moment forever
Every moment spent with you is a moment I treasure

Dont want to close my eyes
I dont want to fall asleep
Cause Id miss you baby
And I dont want to miss a thing
Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
Id still miss you baby
And I dont want to miss a thing

Lying close to you feeling your heart beating
And Im wondering what youre dreaming
Wondering if its me youre seeing
Then I kiss your eyes
And thank God were together
I just want to stay with you in this moment forever
Forever and ever

Dont want to close my eyes
I dont want to fall asleep
Cause Id miss you baby
And I dont want to miss a thing
Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
Id still miss you baby
And I dont want to miss a thing

I dont want to miss one smile
I dont want to miss one kiss
I just want to be with you
Right here with you, just like this
I just want to hold you close
Feel your heart so close to mine
And just stay here in this moment
For all the rest of time

Dont want to close my eyes
I dont want to fall asleep
Cause Id miss you baby
And I dont want to miss a thing
Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
Id still miss you baby
And I dont want to miss a thing

Dont want to close my eyes
I dont want to fall asleep
I dont want to miss a thing