今年五月

五月就快过去了;
时间, 它过得好快, 还来不及好好珍惜所有一切, 却就在身旁溜走了。

今天的心情，好空虚。
那一天，突来的消息，让我一时无法冷静面对。

蓝蓝的天，空空的心，闷闷的，孤独得好可怜。
幻想着自己站在屋顶上，望着城市的繁忙，原来人只不过就是如此渺小；
人与人之间的情节，有时坚固的让人感动；有时它也只不过如此，好脆弱。

曾经学会了一段话，Do not make someone a priority when you are only an option，自己始终做不到，随着岁月的流逝，忽然，累了，闷了，空虚了，就当它是我生命里每个留下痕迹的记忆吧。

真心，不是必然得到真心， 这是绝对。
不舍，也是个绝对。

五月还剩下多少天？
怎么这个五月天，好难过；我却不想它离开。。。
没有能力紧紧将它拥抱；带着剩下的勇气，牢牢地将它收在记忆里。

难？

突然好想你

简简单单 我喜欢你
就是这么的简单
不难

Puppy for Adoption

Hi there, I have a female puppy for adoption, in Penang.

I am only looking for a dog lover, who would be kind enough to give this cute puppy a home; someone who is willing to commit for as long as it takes, to love her as a family.

She was being abandoned at the Air Itam market few days ago. I think she is only a little more than a month old, yet to be two months old.

If anyone is interested, or if there is some other friends who are interested, kindly correspond to leehooi811@gmail.com

Thank you.


GOOD NEWS!! 23rd May 2009

Puppy has been adopted. She will be staying in Ipoh. Thank you all~ = )

The No-Diet Weight Loss Strategy

Can you really lose weight without 'dieting'? long term and keep it off? In a healthy way? Yes if you know what it takes to lose weight: creating an energy deficit.

Energy or kj's work like this; you intake energy from food and you use it to sustain your body (all functions such as breathing, circulation, temperature regulation etc use energy, as well as building and repairing tissues) and by activity or moving the body. Weight gain or loss depends on a very simple equation:

Energy in = energy out; weight maintenance

Energy in > energy out; weight gain

Energy in < energy out; weight loss

It's solid science, it's a clear mathematical equation. It is true, it works. The law of conservation of energy states: energy cannot be created nor destroyed, only changed from one form to another. And this is of course exactly what happens in the human body. Energy from food can be used to heat the body, to contract muscles to walk, to absorb minerals to build bones etc. But if there is extra floating around it will be stored and our big spare energy storage system is the fat cells. So what do you do if you have too much stored energy?

The attack should be two-fold:

1. lower in the intake of new energy to give you a chance to use the spare you’re already carrying and

2. increase the use of energy, convert it into a form you can lose/convert/pass back to the universe. How is this done??? Through energy required for physical activity, convert it to movement and thermoregulation etc.

So the variables are; how much are you eating and are you really conscious of how much energy you're ingesting? (Are your snacks healthy or are they secretly adding to your waistline?) And are you moving enough to justify what you take in/ move stored weight?

Tips to take note of...

• cut your energy (kj) intake without ‘dieting’, without reducing volume of food cutting down on how much food you eat. (See energy density below)
• biggest problem with diets is – you’re hungry, you’re deprived, not sustainable, can’t live like that, so you blow it.
• AND do not diet—by cutting down drastically on food intake—because it ruins your metabolism that is, it ruins your energy equation, it tells your body to save energy, not use it. You can train your body to be a better energy user by giving it more of what it needs in terms of quality nutrients and then stimulating it to use it for good (build muscle and bone through exercise).
• this is why you should not skip good carbs (and do you know what they are anyway? fruit & Veg are mostly carbs!) and not go on a diet high in fatty protein (like Bacon) which has lots of kj’s.
• Substitution examples; better choices in terms of less energy, longer lasting energy, increased processing time and high in essential nutrients (fit foods).
• Choosing foods which belong in your everyday foods, criteria include: high in fibre, multi-grain, packed with vitamins and minerals, give specific examples of better choices in terms of energy density of common foods, especially snacks.

Energy density

Finding foods which give less energy for any given volume (say 100g) is the key to eating the same amount but less energy. How? Look at where most energy comes from…

Fat = 38kj per gram

Carbohydrate = 17kj per gram

Protein = 17kj per gram

Alcohol = 29kj per gram

All this proves is that fat give the most energy, the easiest way to cut down on total kj’s is to lower the fat and eat more carbs or protein instead. That is the bottom line about energy, clear, conclusive and undeniable, no matter what is said about protein and carbs. This is not new info but it does simplify all the diet hype, misinformation and confusion which comes with every new diet peddled on the market.

Note about alcohol; I like a glass of bubbly as much as the next girl, but you must keep in mind the energy density is nearly up there with fat, but it's worse because your body cannot use or store it (ethanol is toxic to muscle function) so it will use this as a preferred energy source and store other eaten energy. If you drink alcohol regularly you'll have trouble tipping the energy equation in favour of weight loss…

In terms of lifestyle - life's too short to count kilojoules! But if you can work out how to modify your nutrition so it's working with your goals you won't need to know how much energy is in your blueberry muffin… just make them with apple puree instead of all the butter and sugar and enjoy!

Comment Left by one reader:
I like the sentiments expressed in the above article, except for one omission. Yes, carbs and protein are the same when it comes to energy density, however our bodies respond to them vastly differently. Carbs will induce an insulin response, which in turn creates more hunger and in the case of sugars as opposed to whole grains a very sharp insulin spike- which also creates cravings for more of the stuff to boot. Protein however does not create any insulin spike and keeps you full longer- just make sure it is lean protein, preferably low in salt as well. Eat mainly lean protein and vegetables (not the starchy ones like potatoes, corn etc) with moderate amounts of whole grain carbs and a couple of pieces of fruit (berries are great, they are low in carbs and high in anti-oxidants), get walking and you are laughing! Try to eat small, frequent meals rather than one or two big ones, and make sure there is a small amount of lean protein with each. Oh, and don't forget to drink lots of water!

Women Weekly

~Wolfi@Don~

Wolfi!!

hm. My baby. =P

I am sure gonna miss him a lot.

I am worry, if he could go on the days without me, playing around with him, feeding him with all the snacks, sitting by his side and feed him dinner on my palm, pampered him to sleep, be there whenever he wants a mate, whenever he learns new things, bring him to the field, race 100meters with him, take a nap with him on the floor after fighting over for the cushion, having myself wet for showering him, talking to him, wish him morning and good night everyday, hugging him every now and then, and allowing him to sleep on my feet whenever wherever he wishes to.

Or I think... it isn't he need me more; I think I need Wolfi more. Gosh, i am so going to miss him so!

You have to be good, okay? Stay good, stay smart, be smarter too. Do take care of parents while I am away. Grow up, grow up, and grow up healthy okay.

I am so lucky to have you as my friend, my family.

色=空

很狠
人怎么可以那么狠

看是技巧性，婉转性的说话
的的确确狠狠地伤了我的心

人真的可以很无情

原来
我真的很笨

那个我所谓的Package
都是我太天真了

once a friend was explaining to me
the difference of making love and having sex
the end of discussion
making love = you look into each others eyes; you are facing each other; intimate feelings is there
having sex = all those positions you apply during the intercourse and you are not facing each other

my understanding?
making love and having sex carry the same meaning, it's just that both are different ways of acknowledge people of the intercourse; something like a more softer way to say it.
I believe intercourse exists only when love exists, intimate feelings exist; it comes in a package.

Today,
making love = intercourse with someone you love and love you in return
having sex = just for the sake of having sex

Ouch!
Am I too old to understand this?
Maybe I should just go and die, as I was being wished that way before.

How would someone be so harsh in words they said?
Have they not think before what they are going to say, will hurt a person's feelings?

朋友都劝我
说我只会伤害自己
我说我没事
静静地 我没事

真的不可不信直觉
那一天 告诉了自己
别想多了
因为我只为坦白而活

原来
我的直觉不骗我
是我
一直在欺骗自己

原来
坦白面对
不是每人都能

那一天
我已知道
你的天空
没有我的余地

这一天
我的心哭泣了
我的心痛
你感觉得到吗
你没看见
我正在勉强的笑吗
你不会看见
因为你心中只容纳你自己

~Do not hate, it's between to stay or to walk away~
wish upon the stars, that one day there is a look back and greetings from the silence

再一次
我为自己证明了自己的愚笨
还是一只躲在井口底下的蛙子
我狠狠地嘲笑了今天的自己
谢谢你
我用经验来教导我自己

张爱玲10段关于爱情的话

Got this from a forum, just thought want to share it~ =)

张爱玲10段关于爱情的话

1 于千万人之中遇见你所要遇见的人,于千万年之中,时间的无涯的荒野里,没有早一步,也没有晚一步,刚巧赶上了,没有别的话可说,惟有轻轻地问一声:"噢,你也在这里?

张爱玲有那么多的小说，我却觉得《爱》最有意味。没有华丽的辞藻，没有刻意的修饰，也没有曲折的情节，但是那轻轻地一句“噢，你也在这里？”却又代表了所有--所有的开始，所有的结局，和所有的人生……

爱情在动静之间：缘分在聚散之间。

如果说爱情是源源不断的小溪，缘分则是偶尔投到溪水中荡起阵阵涟漪的石子。如果说爱情是一道美丽的风景。缘分则是偶尔光顾的浪迹四方的旅人，有缘人自会发现，无缘者任他寻千百度也会错过。 　　

2 遇见你我变得很低很低，一直低到尘埃里去，但我的心是欢喜的。并且在那里开出一朵花来。

中毒里，洁尘说：所有的爱情里面都有卑微，份量不一而已！因为爱上一个人、在乎一个人，就有妥协，妥协自然就有卑微的感觉。在对等的情感关系中，这种卑微是相互的，是男女双方对一份情感的努力和付出。

可惜现实生活中的爱情并不是那么的对等。当你爱的更多，付出更多的时候，你自己都会发觉自己的卑微！

3 因为爱过，所以慈悲；因为懂得，所以宽容。

也许爱玲就是这样子的，她之于胡兰成，不过就是怀着一颗慈悲的心去对待，所以才会有这么多的容忍，只是，我不知道因她的慈悲，她是否就真的拥有了所想得到的爱情？爱情不是一种宽容，更不是一种容忍。爱情是绝对的自私、绝对的拔扈、绝对不容一粒沙子的。

只是女人天性的柔弱，注意她们的爱情掺和了太多的纵容和被纵容的成份。回头看看，所有学不会慈悲的女人一个个走了。红楼梦里的林黛玉就是这样死的，夺走她生命的是心病，是她的计较。而只有慈悲的女人，依旧会在爱情的殿堂里做自欺欺人的梦。

4 我们再也回不去了!

缘分依旧，而情已不再。这是失散了十几年的恋人顾曼桢与沈世钧，别后重逢时说的最动人最素朴，也最凄艳的一句话！人世的苍凉，全括在了其中。这也该张爱玲小说个性的极致处：一句话，几个字，足以引出世间的万千苦辣，肝肠寸断却仍不能言说的酸楚。

是的，回不去了，回不去了！因为他们之间隔着涛涛不尽的似水光阴。涛涛不尽的似水光阴。一段感情延续了十五年，一次等待也已经有了十五年。十五年，已经足够一场轰轰烈烈的爱，尘埃落定。问世间，有多少爱可以重来？请珍惜眼前人。



5 也许每一个男子全都有过这样的两个女人，至少两个。娶了红致瑰，久而久之，红的变了墙上的一抹蚊子血，白的还是窗前明月光；娶了白玫瑰，白的便是衣服上的一粒饭粘子，红的却是心口上的一颗朱砂痣。

这是张爱玲书里那段对男人最写实精辟的描写。

男人初始时，大多是喜欢淡雅清丽的白玫瑰，皎洁的清香，象是冰凉的高山之雪，值得付出一生的代价，求得在这冰凉水流中的沉沦。

然而,在度过如醉如痴欣喜若狂之后，男人渐渐变的不满足。他开始想要一个快乐的艳丽梦幻，妖娆的浓艳，摇曳在月的黄昏。红色的玫瑰，芳香弥散，辛辣魅惑。

其实，女人的美，从来蕴涵着千个面目，不是每个人都可以看到它。在一个足够聪明的男子面前，它会展露给你世上最微妙的色彩。彼刻，纯白艳红，呈现另番甜美的面貌。那样曼妙的花朵，需要刻骨的爱怜，聪慧的温情，才可以灌溉。

每一个女子的灵魂中都同时存在红玫瑰与白玫瑰，但只有懂得爱的男子，才会令他爱的女子越来越美，即便是星光一样寒冷的白色花朵，也同时可以娇媚地盛放风情。

可惜世间，懂得爱的男子实在是太少！在男人心里真正完美的女人，总是随着时间，阅历的变化，不断地变化着！你永远达不到的。所以，不管是红玫瑰，还是白玫瑰，都永远有不能让人满足的遗憾和欠缺，所以男人总是永远地渴望别的玫瑰媚惑的来临。

6 回忆永远是惆怅的! 愉快的使人觉得,可惜已经完了;不愉快的,想起来还是伤心。

这个世界上有很多事情，你以为明天一定可以再继续做的；有很多人你以为一定可以再见到面的，于是，在你暂时放下手，或者暂时转过身的时候，你心中所有的，只是明日又重聚的希望，有时候甚至连这点希望也不会感觉到!

因为，你以为日子既然这样一天一天过来。当然也应该这样一天一天过去，昨天，今天，明天应该是没有什么不同的。但是，就会有那么一次，在你放手，一转身的一刹那，有的事情就完全改变了。太阳落下去，而在它重新升起以前，有些人，就从此和你永远分开了.

于是，只能独自呼唤你的名字。在冬夜里取暖，空守一份寂寞，也是独处时淡淡地回味。想你的时候，把你的名字写在手心。摊开的是思念，紧握的是幸福。

在心痛时疗伤,静静的品味一份孤独，也是遥望时浓浓地陶醉。牵挂的夜晚，把你的名字挂在窗前，凝视的是温情，感怀的是甜蜜。

7 生于这世上，没有一样感情不是千疮百孔的。

所 谓的唯美只存在于剧情里。因为不唯美，我们才会去苦苦追寻；因为不唯美，让我们知道还有一种东西叫做希望。可是，其实感情不能贪心， “如果有谁认为有十全十美的爱情，他不是诗人，就是白痴。”所以，不要求爱的完美，只求实实在在的一种真实的、踏实的爱情来涤荡心情，才是正确的感情态 度。

即使当它真的千疮百孔的时候，也不要刻意挽留，因为每段感情开始的时候都有他存在的理由，结束时也有他结束的必然。写出这句话时，又想到了《东邪西毒》中，黄药师那句经典的台词：当你不能够再拥有的时候，你唯一可以做的就是令自己不要忘记。

以前不知出处，总觉得这话精辟，也只有她这样锦心绣口的女人才能道得出来。虽然公布于世的她的感情只几桩，但她却象是个老于世故的人，娓娓说出这样一句话，直让人感叹。现在终于知道了，这句话出于短篇小说《留情》!

8 日子过得真快，尤其对于中年以后的人，十年八年都好象是指顾间的事。可是对于年轻人，三年五载就可以是一生一世。

前者因了岁月沧海，洞悉。后者因了岁月荣华，天真。

夫妻原来都是极相爱的人，才有勇气决定共度一生，但三年五年，十年八年，总会腻的，不分手也只是如亲人一样生活在一起。可如果是亲人，又何必再做夫妻呢？你没有答案，我也没有。同样张爱玲没有。

小 时候乐听童话，以为王子和灰姑娘走上红地毯，一切都美满了。故事的美好，在与人为的停驻了时间，有意识忽略之后几十年的人生岁月。长大后，发现上当了。童 话是美好的，现实是残酷的。张爱玲以旁观之清的凛然姿态，告诉我们，生命被无休止的琐事填充，像一袭华美的袍，上面爬满了无数憎恨的虱子。

9 爱你值不值得，其实你应该知道，爱就是不问值得不值得。

张爱玲在自己23岁的时候曾经如痴如醉地爱上一个38岁的男人——胡兰成。他是个有妻室的人，且是个地地道道的汉X。

我相信对于胡兰成的品性、为人、政治立场，张爱玲自然是十分清楚的，可是她却没有办法不让自己陷入与胡的那场爱情深渊，也是她一生痛苦的深渊。恋爱的女人是管不住自己的，就仿佛吸烟的人明知吸烟有害照样吞云吐雾一样。

所以说，爱情是盲目的，没有什么值不值得的问题。当你爱上一个人的时候，你还会理性的思考吗？如果是，那只能说明这不是爱情。

10 女人一旦爱上一个男人,如赐予女人的一杯毒酒,心甘情愿的以一种最美的姿势一饮而尽,一切的心都交了出去,生死度外!

而男人若爱上一个女人，如发现了自己一直寻找的光环，光环的美丽让他陶醉其中,他为她献出了很多的温柔,女人被男人的温柔所感,义无返顾的把自己献给了男人,终于这个光环紧紧的套在自己的身上……

时光漫漫的流逝了去,光环慢慢的变的灰暗,男人的脸也渐显些苍老,在光环的陪伴下,男人也渐成熟了读懂了很多世事，可是同时他也感觉到女人老了，失却了往日的光华。

好男人：他懂得女人的光华以紧紧的溶进了自己的生命，是女人的幸运。

坏男人：他会厌倦，很轻易的把光环从自己身上剥离，然后抛弃，是女人的不幸。

这段话说的如此的形象和具体，一直被我所记住。

Daily Diary

失眠差不多两个星期了吧
I was thinking to have a good night sleep tonight, since I was at the game and felt kinda tired too; also was earlier had a lunch appointment tomorrow. Thought an early "time off" would do a good trick, for the appointment, and whole day work on a Saturday.

Nah, things just didn't turn out as I wished.
Arrived home after the game, didn't get enough time to even take off my socks, I was being nagged and blamed for nothing. So, I sat there in front of the television, still with my socks on my feet, jacket and racket on my body, "experiencing" the hurtful words attacking my heart.

Not until it was 12am, I went for my bath. I told myself, "Alright, don't think too much, don't go out, just relax and have a hot shower. It's a better day tomorrow," I barely felt my heart beating, it was so sorrow and painful. Ah, then I got a postponed plan of the lunch. Stunned a minute. I need to blog, that was all the while in my mind, and now I am here.

There were three persons expressed their interest towards me, yesterday. And there were three persons hurt my feelings today. Life is so fair and balanced aye?

Wolfi was the only one comforted me and had a nap with me in the living room.
I shall get a good morning sleep; a good lunch, hmm. I am thinking of siTigun; then go to work. I am not sure if I want to stay in town for the Wesak Day parade or not. What about my dinner? hmm. Nando's? or siTigun tiramisu~ for dinner, lunch I take claypot chicken rice?
我有欲望！好想吃。。。西餐！意大利餐！

我的人生本是个笑话

十岁那年，“因为生你，害我的生意得停掉。”

十七岁那年，“就是因为你，所以我没得做我自己要做的事。”

二十岁那年，“都是你害的，叫你不要讲，你为什么要讲？”

接下来的好几年，来来去去，整个家给翻了好几次；我还没真正懂事前，傻傻地责怪自己许久。曾经，为她哭了，为她解释了，安慰她了，却不停地责怪自己。

今天，“都是你害的，为什么你要这样？为什么你要讲？”
我看到的，不是我，真的不是我。一切都是您一路来，自己走出来的路。

我，怎么害您了？
帮您隐藏是为您好吗？
隐藏的又是什么，您可分得清吗？

一路来，我是在什么影子下成长，您仔细想过吗？
我害您？
妈，您怎么会说出这种话？
怎么您不想一想，事情的根在何方？真的是我吗？

今天，您的那一番话，那一番责备，我没有反驳。
每一次，您总把我伤得好痛好痛；我总是反驳，总是辩护自己，总是忍不住掉眼泪。

今天，我很沉默；我很冷淡。
您说的每一句，我都听在心里，它们都停在心里。
那些听了好多次的承诺，我不以为然；
我是痛得麻木了吗？

真的好伤心，伤心两字，并非能表达我此刻的心情。
应该说，此刻的心，就像有千千万万的小针，不停不停地刺满我心的每个角落，真的好难受。

我真的不想参与这场战，可以吗？
请不要把我夹在您俩间，可以吗？

妈，母亲节要到了，怎么这样了？
妈，到底哪一步您下错棋了？
爸，到底哪一步您俩都迷失了方向？

我的家，好美。
我的梦，好美。
我的天，好美。

原来，当一切都还是简单的时候，生活真的好美。

如果，我有机会，我要重新走我的人生。
我还要我爸，
我还要我妈，
但我要让我的人生不一样。

失勇

宁静的夜

爱而没智慧就会乱

反反复复在我脑海里旋转

坚定的心

忽然迷失了方向

看着我的手心 多么想亲近你心灵

掌握我的不安 不让你看见我的梦

梦 在暧昧中

不想逃离却也躲开了勇气

放纵地任由思念继续加倍

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我不要看懂 童话里的虚伪

仰望着蓝色天空 那里有个天堂

我要将你我的心 放在行李袋里

在那蔚蓝天堂中 一起在梦里飞翔

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曾经的回忆

恰好是我最好的温习

每天想你一分钟

不太多 也不吝啬

空气里充满了

一分钟的窝心

一分钟的贴心

没有言语 没有不舍 亦没有哭泣

那是我在永恒蔚蓝里有梦的天堂

————————————————————————————————————————————

躲开了勇气

那个清晨
那个眼神
那个拥抱

是否有我的天空

怎么像没发生过一样

拍拍我的胸口
问问自己该怎么办

在我离开之后的天空
你会像我这样想你吗

不想那美味的Tiramisu
只是个温馨的回忆

沉默不语
我还是我自己


喂喂 不要怕
你是好娃娃
自己跌倒
自己爬