A new chapter in my life

I have been isolated in my own world, protecting myself from any other person, whom came by and try to hurt my feelings.

Yet, 3 months back, without much considerations, I allowed someone new, came into my life. It was rather sweet at the beginning, yet it tested my limits to the maximum. I do not understand, why am I allowing myself being dragged into the emotional state like such.

Did I make reasons for him for what he has done? I am not sure. I do know, if I ever feel emotional towards how I was treated, it seems meaningless to confront him, at all. Somehow, it's useless for me to be emotional or being moody in front of him. He ain't the type of guy whom could come and console you, when you are emotional. He doesn't seem to be the type of guy that come by and sweet talk to you when you are moody. He would leave you alone, face your own emotion, and then the next day, he would ask,"Have you feel better already?"

Yes, you want a mature relationship, you want a mature mind, but you can't expect myself to be logical and rational all the time. Where's my rights to be emotional once a while? Where's my chance to be moody and being a woman once a while? All this three months I am with you, the one thing I am always stress about it, I can't even being a childish person for once, in an emotional way. If it was just a joke, being childish in jokes, that's fine. You choose not to talk to me when I am emotional. Why?

I am soon to be 30, yet I still want to be a princess once awhile. Is that not allowed?

At times, when I tried to share something of my daily life incidents, you do not seem to listen much, before I could finished my sharing, you talked about something else, and never bothered to return to my topic.

It's fun that you brought me into your family life. Other than that, do you see myself as myself? Or did you judge me already?

A new chapter in my life. I do not know what am I doing.. Why I don't feel happy talking about us when I shared with my friends?

I like you much, but why is this happening this way?