No idea what's running in my head.
I've been so lost and confused ever since the last blog I wrote. There were times I wanted to write something but I just couldn't come out anything.
What was I thinking? What am I thinking? Am I only worry,"Am I just an option?"
What makes me so lost?
That day, "I'll see how long you'll be like this," he said. Also,"Why you so serious?" he asked.
I couldn't help it, I've always meant what I said and said what I meant. I just don't simply joke about anything.
With the "I'll see how long you'll be like this," does that indirectly confirmed myself that, I'm still all by myself? Yeah... only one sided... dumb me...
I told him,"Learn to look at the bright side of the present," but I myself can't do it in this matter.. what the heck.
I've been looking forward to meet up again, but why at the same time I'm feeling worry, anxious, or scare? Scare of knowing the fact that his heart ain't with me? I can't blame him for that, right? Who am I anyway? Even 10 fingers can count how many time have I met him.
Scare of knowing the fact that I am only an option? Scare of finally awake that I was the one whom always encouraging him and trying to make him like me, instead of the liking feelings developed itself within him?
Scare of knowing the fact that I'm only being accepted because I was encouraging him?
Were those my worries? Were those reasons why I was so lost? Are those... only one reason - I'm afraid of losing him? ... but... why?
I've been so lost and confused ever since the last blog I wrote. There were times I wanted to write something but I just couldn't come out anything.
What was I thinking? What am I thinking? Am I only worry,"Am I just an option?"
What makes me so lost?
That day, "I'll see how long you'll be like this," he said. Also,"Why you so serious?" he asked.
I couldn't help it, I've always meant what I said and said what I meant. I just don't simply joke about anything.
With the "I'll see how long you'll be like this," does that indirectly confirmed myself that, I'm still all by myself? Yeah... only one sided... dumb me...
I told him,"Learn to look at the bright side of the present," but I myself can't do it in this matter.. what the heck.
I've been looking forward to meet up again, but why at the same time I'm feeling worry, anxious, or scare? Scare of knowing the fact that his heart ain't with me? I can't blame him for that, right? Who am I anyway? Even 10 fingers can count how many time have I met him.
Scare of knowing the fact that I am only an option? Scare of finally awake that I was the one whom always encouraging him and trying to make him like me, instead of the liking feelings developed itself within him?
Scare of knowing the fact that I'm only being accepted because I was encouraging him?
Were those my worries? Were those reasons why I was so lost? Are those... only one reason - I'm afraid of losing him? ... but... why?
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